Self esteem is defined by an individual’s evaluation of their own worth.  It encompasses of all the beliefs one has about themselves.  Mental health and emotional well being are based on whether a person’s beliefs are mostly negative or positive.

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Positive beliefs about one self, such as: “I am lovable,” ” I am strong,” and ” I am capable,” release neuro-chemicals in the body that soothe the organism. Some of these neuro-chemicals are: Oxytocin, Prolactin and natural Opiates. The same neuro-chemicals are also released in babies when they are soothed by their mother.

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Negative beliefs about one self, such as: “I am unlovable, ” ” I am bad, ” and ” I don’t deserve,” release neuro-chemicals associate with the stress response. Some of these neuro-chemicals are: Cortisol, dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine. Negative beliefs can lead to chronic stress conditions and exacerbate other symptoms.

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Our beliefs are the engine of our manifestations within ourselves and our environment.  Our beliefs impact the way we feel inside, and how we feel further impacts our action, reactions and the clarity we need to solve problems effectively.  These further affect our relationships and the way we relate to others.

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The most common trap for those who have a low self-esteem, is their need for love and validation from others. When most beliefs about oneself are negative, being inside the body becomes unbearable, and we often find that the only way to overcome this discomfort is to be soothed and validated by another. Depending on others for love and validation can create toxicity and trigger fear of abandonment.

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In more extreme cases, people would completely shut their attachment system down, and engage in avoidant and self destructive behavior patterns, to avoid the vulnerability that comes with attaching or connecting with others.

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If you think you suffer from low self esteem, know that you need to heal your attachment system, to be able to give yourself the love and care you’ve been needing all along.

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